The Conversation I Keep Having With Women

Lately I've been having many similar conversations with my female clients.

They mostly center around watching their bodies change and not loving what's happening. I've had these conversations with postpartum clients, pre- and post-menopausal clients, and aging clients.

Interestingly enough, just the other day my sister made a comment to me along the lines of, "You're a personal trainer, so you don't experience this the same way I do." She is just under a year postpartum and was struggling to walk up a very steep hill with a stroller and all the gear that comes along with having young children.

I think it's easy to look at other people and assume they're doing great postpartum, aging gracefully, or navigating menopause with ease. But when it comes to ourselves, we tend to be our own worst critics. Trust me, I'm not special when it comes to fighting these thoughts.

The Biggest Shift I Made

I spent years learning to love my body and myself. It was a long journey. I knew my body would change postpartum and as I aged. While I was certainly curious (and maybe a little worried) about what those changes would look like, I also knew I would have to accept them. Before becoming pregnant, I knew I couldn't afford to go back to my previous self-loathing. It wasn't healthy, and it certainly wasn't helpful.

The biggest shift I made was in my mindset.

Lately, I've noticed things on myself too. Two extra pounds that don't seem interested in leaving. Cellulite that appears in certain lighting. Changes that weren't there before.

And honestly? I'm not entirely sure how I feel about them.

I'm not mad. I'm not thrilled. Maybe I'm just a little indifferent.

I knew these things were likely coming. I think most of us do.

So if we know our bodies are going to change, why is acceptance still so difficult?

Something I've Been Thinking About

Now, I'm not suggesting we stop taking care of ourselves. Not at all.

I believe deeply in movement, strength training, nourishing our bodies, and doing what we can to feel our best.

But it makes me genuinely sad to hear women reject their bodies so harshly.

I grew up hearing comments about bodies. Then I spent years in this industry hearing every complaint imaginable about weight, cellulite, wrinkles, loose skin, aging, and everything in between.

And I often wonder: How much of this is truly our own opinion?

And how much of it was handed to us by society, advertising, social media, and years of conditioning?

That's not an easy question to answer.

Listen, I'm not someone who can completely go against the grain of society. I still have moments where I wish things looked different. I still have insecurities. But I do think it's worth challenging some of those thoughts.

When you catch yourself criticizing your body, pause for a moment and ask:

"Is this actually bothering me, or is this what I think I'm supposed to be bothered by?"

Sometimes the answer might surprise you.

Our Bodies Tell the Story of Our Lives

The truth is, our bodies tell the story of our lives.

Pregnancy changes us.

Motherhood changes us.

Menopause changes us.

Aging changes us.

That isn't failure. That's living.

And while I don't think we need to love every change, I do think we owe our bodies a little more grace for carrying us through every season of life.

A Little More Grace

If there's one thing I hope more women hear, it's this:

You don't have to love every wrinkle, every pound, every stretch mark, or every change that comes with life.

But maybe we can stop treating those things as evidence that our bodies have failed us.

Maybe we can acknowledge that our bodies are simply doing what bodies do.

They change. They adapt. They carry us through seasons we never could have imagined.

And for that alone, I think they deserve a little more kindness than most of us give them.

body image, women's health, aging, motherhood, postpartum, menopause, self-compassion, mindset, fitness, wellness